Tracy, I won’t pretend to know what you’ve been through, but I’d like to thank you for writing such an honest piece. For many years, I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t moving on, because I thought I had forgiven a person for a past trauma. But you are so right, you have to forgive yourself. When I first realized this, I was almost angry — forgive myself for what exactly? As if I had perpetrated trauma on someone, and not the other way around. In fact, I had perpetrated trauma on someone — myself — for sooo many years after. So many years. I let myself collapse into myself, and then stayed there — with the exception of the few times I felt steely enough to climb out and stake a claim in my life — only to stumble and retreat. I realized that I had to forgive myself for all the times I hated myself for not being stronger, for being too affected, for not just moving on already. Come on, it wasn’t that big of a deal. So many people have suffered through much worse. I’ve been working through forgiving myself for some time now. It’s not as easy as one would think. But it’s so much more important (at least for me) to forgive myself than it is for me to forgive the other party. Everyone else has moved on. And in order for me to move on, I must keep doing the work of self-love and forgiveness — for not being my own champion? Yes, maybe that’s it. Your article has touched me in a surprising way. I guess I’m still working through things. But thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly. I’m sure I’m not the only one you’ve helped today. I wish you all the best. Kari