Todd — Congratulations on your first published piece on Medium! It really spoke to me. I’ve struggled with believing in myself for a long time, despite intermittent moments of accomplishment and badassery. I can totally relate to that “negative tape” playing on repeat in your head. You write with such honesty and openness, and I really appreciate that. I hope to see more of your work.
Damon — I’ve been where you are, and I’m so sorry for your pain. There is hope. I spent so many years doubting my self-worth, wondering what, if anything, I had to contribute to this world. When we’re in this darkest place, it’s hard to imagine that anything will change, or that a day will come when you aren’t suffering. But if I’ve learned anything in life it’s that our thoughts can be all-consuming. They can destroy us or lift us up. Some days you can’t get beyond your thoughts, other days you recognize what’s going on and can work through them. I hope you are feeling better today. I ended up going back to therapy and seeing a doctor about medication (I resisted both for so long), and I’m sorry I waited so long to do both. I hope you feel better, but please don’t wait to seek help if you need it.
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General response: Oh man, you guys are not alone. The stories on Medium from other writers have shown me this. This year I’ve committed to learning as much as I can about how our minds process thoughts, and how the thoughts we choose to think affect…everything. Personal development books and podcasts have been my saving grace. I’ve read a lot from Tim Ferriss as well (and appreciate his willingness to share his own depression and brush with suicidal thoughts.) I’m a broken record on this, but I’m a huge fan of The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo. She talks about how our thoughts have caused our present reality, and that if we’re not happy with where we are, we can create the future we desire by diligently watching our thoughts and practicing new ones, where needed. It sounds crazy and woo-woo (trust me, I was pretty skeptical when I first started listening to her podcast) but everything she talks about is rooted in psychology and neuroscience and just makes sense. If you’re looking for something to start with, The Life Coach School Podcast is worth listening to. There are close to 270 episodes on every mental health topic you can think of. I’m sorry this was such a long response, but I really wanted everyone to know that no one is alone. And there is hope. Thanks so much for this article, Todd. Best wishes to everyone.
