I don’t want to in any way minimize the extent of your worry, but this piece was laugh-out-loud hilarious. I can say that now knowing it was not cancerous, thank goodness. Our imaginations are incredible, aren’t they? And I know doctors love patients who Google their symptoms. When I went into labor with my second child, I was a medical malpractice paralegal and, unfortunately, my caseload included quite a few labor & delivery malpractice cases. I’m sure the doctors and nurses loved it when I tried to read my baby’s fetal monitor strips to make sure there were no concerning heart rate patterns…! Thank you for the laughs. Although sometimes our worries are validated, it’s good to be able to laugh at ourselves once in a while when we can sense what we’re doing.